Friday, September 21, 2012


Roadblock. A time that everyone of us faces at some point in our life.
So many times we stop and we don't know which road to take.
Sometimes we have no choice but to stop and wait.
Times when we get so frustrated because we feel like we should be in a much better place by now, we should be doing way more, we should be happier...
A time when we are angry with ourselves.
A time when the only person we're mad with is us.
It is so hard to let go when you know you've screwed up.
It is so hard to accept forgiveness and enter the freedom God is wanting to give you.

Because people don't know all the emotions that go through you.
They don't know exactly what motives were driving you when doing that thing.
They don't know the thoughts that caused you self hatred so strong.. so strong you could die inside.
Over and over again.

I will tell you one thing.
I was mad with myself.
I was desperate to keep that one little thing to myself.
I was angry that God demanded it from me.
So angry.

I didn't want my sins to be forgiven.
I was my own judge.
I was my own prison.
Facing mirror I'd call myself the worst names.
I'd step away from people.
I'd shut up and curled up in the corner of my room, I'd cry.
And I'd cry myself to sleep every night.
I used to punish myself with dreams of my death
Or death of people I loved.
Accidents, sicknesses, hurts.
I was killing myself.

This was me 7 years ago.

Can I tell you one thing?
That God truly loves you?
That He is the only one who will always have time for you?

I know, it took me years to believe in this.
It ain't easy to believe that someone would love you so much that in order for you to be able to live in forgiveness of your sins.... He gave His only Son.

Only Love can do something like this.

Make this your turning point.
Take your anger and give it to God.
He's pretty fantastic at working it out.
Tell Him about your pain.
Let Him be your Healer.

Genesis 18:14
Is anything too HARD for the Lord?

Use the roadblock to grow and prepare yourself for the next season of your life.
sometimes God is stopping us so we could convert and allow Him to change our hearts, otherwise we wouldn't be able to take fully what He's prepared for us.
Obey, learn and grow.