This is easier than it looks.
If you are honest and open to Him, he will speak. When we have a relationship with God, His desires become ours. But: remember that we are still human. What I've seen happen many many times over the last 5 years of my life is hear people say 'God told me to do this... to say this... to go there... to be with this person'- examples could go on, and shortly after saying this, the person was doing either complete opposite to that thing, or was saying 'well, now God told me to do this'.
How quickly is your God changing his mind???
For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, in all the churches of the saints. 1 Cor 14:33.
God doesn't cause confusion. God is not going to tell you to marry three different people. He is not going to send you into two different places at once.
God is a God of endless opportunities. If you are open to be send, you will be send.
If you don't close yourself from His will, He will call you.
If you are truly dedicated to see His Kingdom come, if you take Matthew 28 seriously (go and make all disciples), He will anoint you to do great things.
God is looking for open hearts.
We can mistake our own heart for His will.
But not so easily if we truly seek Him out. If we pray, read the Bible, seek wisdom and guidance, do you know what will happen if you do those things?
His desires will become yours.
You will want to go and serve people. You will want to be selfless.
You will want to be called.
And when the right time comes, you will know exactly where it is that God is calling you.
You may have time of doubt and that's okay. It will provoke you to pray more.
You may not actually listen to Him but think that because you sit in a room with an open Bible God will grant you whatever you want. Nope.
God knows your heart, He knows what's good for you. He knows when you want to hear and obey.
If I was to count how many times I wanted something and I didn't get it, and how many times I was later on thanking God for not giving me that thing.
If you're stubborn and you tell yourself you need 'this', it doesn't make it God's will for your life.
It makes you death to His voice.
But if you wait PATIENTLY, if you pray without ceasing, if you keep on doing what God has called you to do right now, when the right time comes and you show yourself faithful to getting done what He wanted from you, He will take you deeper.
By this I mean that your perception will change. Desires of your heart will change.
Your hearing will be different. You will be able to filter through words to hear the need.
And you will know the next step for your life.
This may mean working in a different ministry, changing a job, getting a degree, moving, getting married and more.
It may also mean that you remain where you are doing what you do, but having your heart transformed by wisdom given to you through listening to God's voice.
Remember that this is a sensitive topic.
People pull out 'God told me' card as if they were actually listening to Him speak.
You may be hearing or you may be wanting to grand the desires of your own heart. This has nothing to do with the Lord.
God has a plan for you and there is a reason to why you are where you are. There could be a couple options:
1. Because this is the time and place for you
2. Because you didn't go when He called you
3. Because you chose this place for yourself, without the confidence that it's from Him.
you may be thinking that going somewhere without God's approval is impossible, but I know of many people who have missed on the calling on their life because they either chose to disobey and go somewhere else, where it looked more suitable for them, or because they simply didn't want to step up to the plate and do what He's called them to do, so they went the opposite direction.
So be careful. Simply, if you feel like you really need to hear from Him, dedicate more time to prayer, writing down your dreams and desires, seeing your opportunities, counting your blessings, speaking with leaders around you. Also, fast. Get your body under your will- don't be a slave to it anymore. Do basics you know God would want you to do- grow, serve, tell others about Him.
He may show you what to do through one of those small situations that required your sacrifice.
He may tell you through a place or conversation, maybe through a scripture, maybe through a person or a dream.
God can speak in many ways and there is one thing we need to do in order to hear: learn to be open.
He knows when the time is right, you don't need to know that, you just have to be ready.
Are you ready?
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Experience of a broken heart.
Last couple months have been rather difficult for me and some of my friends. I have decided to write this note for those who got their heart broken mainly through a split relationship, but you could apply it to any other thing, because in the end, pain is pain, right?
I've not been open about this over the Internet and I will not go into detail this time either, but I've gone through a very rough break up a couple months ago. Having that experience has taught me a lot and made me realize things that I feel important to share here. Reading about someone else's journey could help you in going through your own.
Hope that comes with falling in love is amazing. Feeling hot from the inside, waiting for the next message from that person, all those things and many more are bound to happen as we realize we want to be with somebody. So we get into this relationship, it's awesome, we learn things about each other. Some of us may have ended only on the 'first' level of relationship, some of us may have gotten engaged, and some of us got married. When the heart gets attached to that person for real, when we decide that yes, this is who I want to be with, oh boy does it hurt when things fall apart. That heartache is indescribable.
The very first thing that I did when I realized my relationship was over, I told God 'Lord, I am not going to let this destroy me'. This was my first step and honestly, I don't know where I would be now if I took another route.
Giving this to God didn't mean the pain was completely gone, but it made me handle my emotions way better.
One of the things that I have learned is that I am the master of my body and emotions and by this I simply mean that no one can help me if I won't first deal with myself. People can talk to you but if you're mad with yourself to the point where you just can't control yourself, no help will come through to you. So the first and most important step is to give it to God. Completely. And the second: allow yourself to breathe. It happened, you can't change it, you can't take the time back. Might as well deal with it, huh?
And don't worry, you can give it to God later on if you haven't done it yet. Actually even if a break up has happened a long time ago, there may still be things that need dealing with that only the Lord can help you with. Your friends may be great, but they won't heal your heart and give you peace, nor would they enable you to forgive.
Something that destroys people after break ups is guilt. This thing is hard to get over especially if you don't want to forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made (one of which could be getting into this relationship in the first place!).
Here are some pointers on what I think is essential, whether you feel like the 'bad guy' or not.
1. You DON'T have to be strong. Your heart has been hurt, you are in pain. And by this I don't try to say 'hey go and bowl your eyes out in public places, before your family (ones that don't really get what's up), at work, make your coworkers feel horrible, make awkward scenes etc'.
You are a lady, you are a gentleman. Behave like one. The world is not responsible for your break up.
Behave as normal as possible at work. I assume people you work with know about the break up and they feel bad for you, but y'all still need to do your job. So what did I mean by just telling you that you don't have to be strong? I mean that you are okay to cry at home. You are okay to take some time out where you would do things that relax you, and most certainly you are okay to admit that your heart is hurting.
You don't have to play super brave if you don't feel brave. Fear after the break up is NORMAL. You do not break the 'feelings law' by having a bad time after the split up.
2. It takes months to fully recover from this and could be longer if your relationship was as deep as engagement/ marriage, but by this I don't mean that you're bound to cry for those months. I mean that the first month- three months are the worst, then you may be getting sudden attacks of sadness/ missing the person, but if you protect your heart well, then you can recover within a couple months.
I have never been engaged nor married so I can't speak for those cases and describe how it 'must feel' and how long it's 'suppose to take' before you should 'feel good again'. Everyone goes through hard times differently, some people recover within months, for some it may take longer than that.
3. Why, Jesus? Questions to God are okay, but also remember that He hasn't forced you into this relationship so you can't exactly put the responsibility on Him. Whether it was a Christian relationship where two people genuinely love Jesus or not, stupid things will be done and said, simply because we're human. We've gotta take ownership of our decision and consequences that come if it turns out to be a bad one.
What is our saving grace tho (literally), is this promise: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
A couple weeks down the line after the break up I felt like God was telling me 'Marta, because you have handled this situation well, I was able to turn what could have been a break down, into a break through'.
My jaw dropped. I saw the above verse in real life. God used my pain, got hold of my heart and turned it inside out.
Because I didn't allow any bitterness or unforgivenes to get to me but instead I was calling to Him, He answered and He stood up to His promise- He used this pain for my good. And, He can do exactly the same thing for you!
4. Girls, boys, read this carefully.
It's not that the person stood up to your expectations, but that you didn't expect enough.
From yourself, from them. Maybe you've expected from yourself to be more ready for this so you wouldn't have made all those stupid mistakes. Maybe you wanted to be stronger so you wouldn't have allowed them to walk over your boundaries.
We seriously don't value our hearts. This society we live in is killing people. It's not teaching us any values so if you don't go to church to get some teaching from the Bible, or if you do but don't practice any of it in your life, you are in a true war zone.
5. Submission to God.
The last, but the most important point.
He's here for you. He doesn't pick sides between you and your ex- He loves both of you equally.
If right now you are in the most sensitive time after the break up, I pray God puts some balm of comfort on your heart.
Please, do not turn away from Him. I know, I know, it's not easy to pray etc, but at this point when you're vulnerable you really need that prayer time. Because God is the only one who won't abuse your vulnerability. At some point all I could say to Him was 'Lord, You know.' Then I was slowly trying to tell Him either out loud or by writing in my journal how I felt. I would instead of crying myself to sleep read Psalms. Sometimes I would read one Psalm over and over till I felt peace coming over me. Amazing feeling. God is really not wanting you to deal with pain by yourself. Go for a walk, sing songs, draw, write.
Your heart doesn't have to get 'good' within two weeks. You have got the time. Listen and seek God. He will let you discover some precious lessons from this. I have learned so much about myself. I've learned respect for time. I've learned that I have to expect more from myself and the guy who'd try to woo me out. Some of you reading this note know my 'ex'. I'm not trying to speak bad of him here. I'm simply saying neither of us was mature enough for this relationship to work out.
Some warnings for the future:
1. Planning the future/ sharing personal stuff. Let the other person WORK to get to know you. Don't spill out everything about yourself on the first date or even within the first months of being together. Be slow in it. Slow cook it- it will taste better in the end.
2. Be careful who you talk to. Talk to people who know you and who know the person you're interested in. Do not share your heart and feelings with just anyone who'd ask how you're doing. Have only a couple friends who would know details and make sure in that group there would be at least 2 older people than you (at least 15-20 years difference), who could speak some wisdom into you.
3. Giving your heart away/ or not guarding it. Oh pleaseeeee be careful!!!! I know it may seem all beautiful in the beginning when you meet the person and whatever, but you have got to allow him (ladies!) work to get you. And I mean seriously work. Don't help him. Don't push your heart into his hands. Look out for signals like, is he respecting your time boundaries, is he trying to protect your heart, is he MATURE? Fast relationships hardly ever work out. Figure out yourself why.
Boys, most girls are living in this world of believing that how you present yourself at first is how you will present yourself forever, till death do you part. If a girl is letting you into details of her life soon, then do you both a favor and slow down. Don't rush things, you may regret it. Believe me or not, but time is actually your friend. If you decide that this girl is the one you'd like to be with, work to get her heart (and be ready to take care of it!).
Behave like ladies and gentlemen.
4. Not standing up to your convictions
If either one of you is making the other break down their boundaries, then you shouldn't be together.
A little something to wrap it up:
Whatever has happened between the two of you and however bad the damage is, you can still work through it with God. You may have been hurt so bad that it feels like your heart has fallen into pieces. Believe me, I know the feeling. Right now thinking of the possibility of being with someone again may actually be hurting you even deeper, but don't let your hope die.
H-hold
O- on,
P- pain
E- ends.
It does. And hope never dies. Put your trust in Jesus. Hold on to Him no matter what your head feels like doing.
The harder it gets, the stronger hold on.
*
So this is it, I hope it helps. You are in my prayers.
I've not been open about this over the Internet and I will not go into detail this time either, but I've gone through a very rough break up a couple months ago. Having that experience has taught me a lot and made me realize things that I feel important to share here. Reading about someone else's journey could help you in going through your own.
Hope that comes with falling in love is amazing. Feeling hot from the inside, waiting for the next message from that person, all those things and many more are bound to happen as we realize we want to be with somebody. So we get into this relationship, it's awesome, we learn things about each other. Some of us may have ended only on the 'first' level of relationship, some of us may have gotten engaged, and some of us got married. When the heart gets attached to that person for real, when we decide that yes, this is who I want to be with, oh boy does it hurt when things fall apart. That heartache is indescribable.
The very first thing that I did when I realized my relationship was over, I told God 'Lord, I am not going to let this destroy me'. This was my first step and honestly, I don't know where I would be now if I took another route.
Giving this to God didn't mean the pain was completely gone, but it made me handle my emotions way better.
One of the things that I have learned is that I am the master of my body and emotions and by this I simply mean that no one can help me if I won't first deal with myself. People can talk to you but if you're mad with yourself to the point where you just can't control yourself, no help will come through to you. So the first and most important step is to give it to God. Completely. And the second: allow yourself to breathe. It happened, you can't change it, you can't take the time back. Might as well deal with it, huh?
And don't worry, you can give it to God later on if you haven't done it yet. Actually even if a break up has happened a long time ago, there may still be things that need dealing with that only the Lord can help you with. Your friends may be great, but they won't heal your heart and give you peace, nor would they enable you to forgive.
Something that destroys people after break ups is guilt. This thing is hard to get over especially if you don't want to forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made (one of which could be getting into this relationship in the first place!).
Here are some pointers on what I think is essential, whether you feel like the 'bad guy' or not.
1. You DON'T have to be strong. Your heart has been hurt, you are in pain. And by this I don't try to say 'hey go and bowl your eyes out in public places, before your family (ones that don't really get what's up), at work, make your coworkers feel horrible, make awkward scenes etc'.
You are a lady, you are a gentleman. Behave like one. The world is not responsible for your break up.
Behave as normal as possible at work. I assume people you work with know about the break up and they feel bad for you, but y'all still need to do your job. So what did I mean by just telling you that you don't have to be strong? I mean that you are okay to cry at home. You are okay to take some time out where you would do things that relax you, and most certainly you are okay to admit that your heart is hurting.
You don't have to play super brave if you don't feel brave. Fear after the break up is NORMAL. You do not break the 'feelings law' by having a bad time after the split up.
2. It takes months to fully recover from this and could be longer if your relationship was as deep as engagement/ marriage, but by this I don't mean that you're bound to cry for those months. I mean that the first month- three months are the worst, then you may be getting sudden attacks of sadness/ missing the person, but if you protect your heart well, then you can recover within a couple months.
I have never been engaged nor married so I can't speak for those cases and describe how it 'must feel' and how long it's 'suppose to take' before you should 'feel good again'. Everyone goes through hard times differently, some people recover within months, for some it may take longer than that.
3. Why, Jesus? Questions to God are okay, but also remember that He hasn't forced you into this relationship so you can't exactly put the responsibility on Him. Whether it was a Christian relationship where two people genuinely love Jesus or not, stupid things will be done and said, simply because we're human. We've gotta take ownership of our decision and consequences that come if it turns out to be a bad one.
What is our saving grace tho (literally), is this promise: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
A couple weeks down the line after the break up I felt like God was telling me 'Marta, because you have handled this situation well, I was able to turn what could have been a break down, into a break through'.
My jaw dropped. I saw the above verse in real life. God used my pain, got hold of my heart and turned it inside out.
Because I didn't allow any bitterness or unforgivenes to get to me but instead I was calling to Him, He answered and He stood up to His promise- He used this pain for my good. And, He can do exactly the same thing for you!
4. Girls, boys, read this carefully.
It's not that the person stood up to your expectations, but that you didn't expect enough.
From yourself, from them. Maybe you've expected from yourself to be more ready for this so you wouldn't have made all those stupid mistakes. Maybe you wanted to be stronger so you wouldn't have allowed them to walk over your boundaries.
We seriously don't value our hearts. This society we live in is killing people. It's not teaching us any values so if you don't go to church to get some teaching from the Bible, or if you do but don't practice any of it in your life, you are in a true war zone.
5. Submission to God.
The last, but the most important point.
He's here for you. He doesn't pick sides between you and your ex- He loves both of you equally.
If right now you are in the most sensitive time after the break up, I pray God puts some balm of comfort on your heart.
Please, do not turn away from Him. I know, I know, it's not easy to pray etc, but at this point when you're vulnerable you really need that prayer time. Because God is the only one who won't abuse your vulnerability. At some point all I could say to Him was 'Lord, You know.' Then I was slowly trying to tell Him either out loud or by writing in my journal how I felt. I would instead of crying myself to sleep read Psalms. Sometimes I would read one Psalm over and over till I felt peace coming over me. Amazing feeling. God is really not wanting you to deal with pain by yourself. Go for a walk, sing songs, draw, write.
Your heart doesn't have to get 'good' within two weeks. You have got the time. Listen and seek God. He will let you discover some precious lessons from this. I have learned so much about myself. I've learned respect for time. I've learned that I have to expect more from myself and the guy who'd try to woo me out. Some of you reading this note know my 'ex'. I'm not trying to speak bad of him here. I'm simply saying neither of us was mature enough for this relationship to work out.
Some warnings for the future:
1. Planning the future/ sharing personal stuff. Let the other person WORK to get to know you. Don't spill out everything about yourself on the first date or even within the first months of being together. Be slow in it. Slow cook it- it will taste better in the end.
2. Be careful who you talk to. Talk to people who know you and who know the person you're interested in. Do not share your heart and feelings with just anyone who'd ask how you're doing. Have only a couple friends who would know details and make sure in that group there would be at least 2 older people than you (at least 15-20 years difference), who could speak some wisdom into you.
3. Giving your heart away/ or not guarding it. Oh pleaseeeee be careful!!!! I know it may seem all beautiful in the beginning when you meet the person and whatever, but you have got to allow him (ladies!) work to get you. And I mean seriously work. Don't help him. Don't push your heart into his hands. Look out for signals like, is he respecting your time boundaries, is he trying to protect your heart, is he MATURE? Fast relationships hardly ever work out. Figure out yourself why.
Boys, most girls are living in this world of believing that how you present yourself at first is how you will present yourself forever, till death do you part. If a girl is letting you into details of her life soon, then do you both a favor and slow down. Don't rush things, you may regret it. Believe me or not, but time is actually your friend. If you decide that this girl is the one you'd like to be with, work to get her heart (and be ready to take care of it!).
Behave like ladies and gentlemen.
4. Not standing up to your convictions
If either one of you is making the other break down their boundaries, then you shouldn't be together.
A little something to wrap it up:
Whatever has happened between the two of you and however bad the damage is, you can still work through it with God. You may have been hurt so bad that it feels like your heart has fallen into pieces. Believe me, I know the feeling. Right now thinking of the possibility of being with someone again may actually be hurting you even deeper, but don't let your hope die.
H-hold
O- on,
P- pain
E- ends.
It does. And hope never dies. Put your trust in Jesus. Hold on to Him no matter what your head feels like doing.
The harder it gets, the stronger hold on.
*
So this is it, I hope it helps. You are in my prayers.
Friday, May 24, 2013
judgment vs convictions, and what if you're wrong
A couple days ago I came back from the conference in Holland called Opwekking where I was with students from Southport Master's Commission. For those who don't know, that's where I am privileged to work.
Anywho, more than any other time I went to Opwekking, this time I came back with a whole load of thoughts, new dreams, things to pray about.
And as the days were passing by I felt the need to write this note about our convictions.
I don't know much about Dutch people but what I do see is that they are visionary people. I walk into Opwekking and I see people working with passion, people who love Jesus, and people who have their own convictions. Don't know why in Holland and not in England where I live at the moment, but while being there it was very visible to me that we all live according to our own convictions. I saw the difference between people. Our team has people from many different countries so each day we taste each others differences.
The point of this note is: how strong are they?
We are being raised by whoever it may be who takes care of us. That person, or those people, will pour their convictions into our heads, whether they're good or bad. The Bible says 'Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6)
It is hard to grow out of negatives poured into those who's environment had a lot of bad influence on them.
But as adults we can no longer excuse ourselves. As adults we either live up to those convictions or make our own.
Here: how do you know whether your convictions are good or bad? Have you ever considered that you could actually be... wrong??
In my life I have met some very judgmental people. We all know at least one of them. He looks at you and you feel that 'o' big. Whatever people around him do, is never good enough. He will even tell a pastor off. He will correct the preaching on a Sunday morning. He will leave the church cause he doesn't like the worship. He will excuse himself from anything, living in his own small, perfect world. Anything unclean? Let's cut it out.
You may be thinking 'well I do happen to judge people but I'm not THAT bad'.
Tell me, what kind of judgment and hypocrisy is acceptable before the Lord?
Do you think that God will judge your neighbor according to YOUR convictions?
Imagine this: Gary is a guy you've known for ages. You've seen him come to Christ and you've seen him slide. Even tho you yourself have been going through hardships as well, yours of course weren't as bad as HIS. What shocks you even more is that Gary still smokes. He's been calling himself a Christian for years, right? And he smokes? Ridiculous. So one day Gary dies. Whatever cause. Bitten by a horse. He stands before the Lord and God says: 'well, I do know you love me and I do know you've been praying, serving others, been hardworking and selfless, but your neighbor here, Julie, has a very strong conviction that because you smoke you have to go to hell. So... I was gonna take you in to Heaven as my beloved Son, but Julie's been complaining to Me about you so much that I can't let you in. Sorry.'
Do you get my point yet?
I am not trying to excuse people who smoke here. No. I think it kills your body so it's bad for you. But that's not the point.
This example could be about Gary the farmer not going to church every Sunday.
But I chose smoking, because it's an addiction and everyone has their own say about it.
Here is a feisty passage:
Romans 14:13-16.
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love.Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil.
What are your thoughts? I'd love to know them.
There could be a book written about this passage.
But the main point that I get out of this is that we need to act in love.
Paul said in the above passage that nothing is unclean in itself. It's the way we use it. The way we abuse it. Also, it's about how we view things. We judge others for what they do, because we wouldn't do that. If someone smokes as a Christian we may judge them because smoking is unclean to us. Would you?
It's not about what we do tho, whether we have a problem with smoking, gossiping, cussing or eating too much chocolate. It's about our attitude and the conviction of our heart. I'm going very deep here and I don't want to get into the kind of discussion where my conviction is upsetting others so they'd feel obliged to 'tell me off'. Hey there, fellow hypocrites!
We all have our own convictions. The church is full of imperfect people and we live encouraging and tearing each others down. All.the.time.
I think that each and every one of us is, was or has a little bit of hypocrisy in them. I still half of the time don't even live up to my own convictions so I guess that makes me a hypocrite. And as long as we sin... well.. we are it.
So in conclusion:
I guess what I'm trying to say is be careful how you lead your life- people watch you. You're an example to some.
Be careful with judging. Don't pretend you don't sin.
And, if what you do upsets others, do you think they are all wrong or are you the one who may need to make some changes?
This note is not about smokers. I love you all just as much as I love my friend who overdoses on chocolate.
But: whoever you are reading this note, I bet you money that in your life there is something that needs working on. How do I know? Cause you're not Jesus.
Think about it and about the way you view others before you judge anyone else. Think of the things you excuse yourself from.
What is it that you need?
Repentance? Apologies to your neighbor, friend, enemy, a family member?
Is there anyone you have been constantly hurting by your judgment? And while doing that, have you ever thought that maybe they don't know how to give up that thing because everyone judges them instead of lending them a helping hand?
Remember, you may be wrong.
We may all be wrong.
Anywho, more than any other time I went to Opwekking, this time I came back with a whole load of thoughts, new dreams, things to pray about.
And as the days were passing by I felt the need to write this note about our convictions.
I don't know much about Dutch people but what I do see is that they are visionary people. I walk into Opwekking and I see people working with passion, people who love Jesus, and people who have their own convictions. Don't know why in Holland and not in England where I live at the moment, but while being there it was very visible to me that we all live according to our own convictions. I saw the difference between people. Our team has people from many different countries so each day we taste each others differences.
The point of this note is: how strong are they?
We are being raised by whoever it may be who takes care of us. That person, or those people, will pour their convictions into our heads, whether they're good or bad. The Bible says 'Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6)
It is hard to grow out of negatives poured into those who's environment had a lot of bad influence on them.
But as adults we can no longer excuse ourselves. As adults we either live up to those convictions or make our own.
Here: how do you know whether your convictions are good or bad? Have you ever considered that you could actually be... wrong??
In my life I have met some very judgmental people. We all know at least one of them. He looks at you and you feel that 'o' big. Whatever people around him do, is never good enough. He will even tell a pastor off. He will correct the preaching on a Sunday morning. He will leave the church cause he doesn't like the worship. He will excuse himself from anything, living in his own small, perfect world. Anything unclean? Let's cut it out.
You may be thinking 'well I do happen to judge people but I'm not THAT bad'.
Tell me, what kind of judgment and hypocrisy is acceptable before the Lord?
Do you think that God will judge your neighbor according to YOUR convictions?
Imagine this: Gary is a guy you've known for ages. You've seen him come to Christ and you've seen him slide. Even tho you yourself have been going through hardships as well, yours of course weren't as bad as HIS. What shocks you even more is that Gary still smokes. He's been calling himself a Christian for years, right? And he smokes? Ridiculous. So one day Gary dies. Whatever cause. Bitten by a horse. He stands before the Lord and God says: 'well, I do know you love me and I do know you've been praying, serving others, been hardworking and selfless, but your neighbor here, Julie, has a very strong conviction that because you smoke you have to go to hell. So... I was gonna take you in to Heaven as my beloved Son, but Julie's been complaining to Me about you so much that I can't let you in. Sorry.'
Do you get my point yet?
I am not trying to excuse people who smoke here. No. I think it kills your body so it's bad for you. But that's not the point.
This example could be about Gary the farmer not going to church every Sunday.
But I chose smoking, because it's an addiction and everyone has their own say about it.
Here is a feisty passage:
Romans 14:13-16.
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love.Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil.
What are your thoughts? I'd love to know them.
There could be a book written about this passage.
But the main point that I get out of this is that we need to act in love.
Paul said in the above passage that nothing is unclean in itself. It's the way we use it. The way we abuse it. Also, it's about how we view things. We judge others for what they do, because we wouldn't do that. If someone smokes as a Christian we may judge them because smoking is unclean to us. Would you?
It's not about what we do tho, whether we have a problem with smoking, gossiping, cussing or eating too much chocolate. It's about our attitude and the conviction of our heart. I'm going very deep here and I don't want to get into the kind of discussion where my conviction is upsetting others so they'd feel obliged to 'tell me off'. Hey there, fellow hypocrites!
We all have our own convictions. The church is full of imperfect people and we live encouraging and tearing each others down. All.the.time.
I think that each and every one of us is, was or has a little bit of hypocrisy in them. I still half of the time don't even live up to my own convictions so I guess that makes me a hypocrite. And as long as we sin... well.. we are it.
So in conclusion:
I guess what I'm trying to say is be careful how you lead your life- people watch you. You're an example to some.
Be careful with judging. Don't pretend you don't sin.
And, if what you do upsets others, do you think they are all wrong or are you the one who may need to make some changes?
This note is not about smokers. I love you all just as much as I love my friend who overdoses on chocolate.
But: whoever you are reading this note, I bet you money that in your life there is something that needs working on. How do I know? Cause you're not Jesus.
Think about it and about the way you view others before you judge anyone else. Think of the things you excuse yourself from.
What is it that you need?
Repentance? Apologies to your neighbor, friend, enemy, a family member?
Is there anyone you have been constantly hurting by your judgment? And while doing that, have you ever thought that maybe they don't know how to give up that thing because everyone judges them instead of lending them a helping hand?
Remember, you may be wrong.
We may all be wrong.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Apple of His eye
His love will never run out
His mercy will never run short
YOU are the apple of His eye
From the beginning
Until the end
On and on,
Love,
Refreshed with every sunrise.
Learn to be content in every circumstance of your life, because in every one of them God is the same. He doesn't change the way people do. Things that influence our attitude, don't influence Him. Not in the same way. God never tires out. God doesn't give us limited chances. When you run on empty, take from God's fullness. He is... Everything you need. Peace, joy, hope.
Don't allow life to turn you away from your relationship with Him.
Make whatever sacrifice necessary to feed your soul.
Smile at the days to come
Make positive confessions about your circumstances, speak life into them. Expect good things, and you will see them!
Speak life to live life :)
And remember,
You are the apple of His eye.
Never think that God hates you because you have sinned.
God only hates the sin. Not the sinner.
So have hope for the future, because your God will never change
His love will never run out
His mercy will never run short
YOU are the apple of His eye
From the beginning
Until the end
On and on,
Love,
Refreshed with every sunrise.
His mercy will never run short
YOU are the apple of His eye
From the beginning
Until the end
On and on,
Love,
Refreshed with every sunrise.
Learn to be content in every circumstance of your life, because in every one of them God is the same. He doesn't change the way people do. Things that influence our attitude, don't influence Him. Not in the same way. God never tires out. God doesn't give us limited chances. When you run on empty, take from God's fullness. He is... Everything you need. Peace, joy, hope.
Don't allow life to turn you away from your relationship with Him.
Make whatever sacrifice necessary to feed your soul.
Smile at the days to come
Make positive confessions about your circumstances, speak life into them. Expect good things, and you will see them!
Speak life to live life :)
And remember,
You are the apple of His eye.
Never think that God hates you because you have sinned.
God only hates the sin. Not the sinner.
So have hope for the future, because your God will never change
His love will never run out
His mercy will never run short
YOU are the apple of His eye
From the beginning
Until the end
On and on,
Love,
Refreshed with every sunrise.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Why did you doubt?
Hear his voice across the waves
This note is written especially for people who feel like they are in the middle of a life storm at the moment.
It's hard to admit and believe but most of the problems we bring on ourselves. They are the result of our decisions. Regardless tho, living in consequences of those is still hard. And knowing why we have them doesn't really make dealing with them any easier. So here, does blaming the world, friends, family or God help?
I don't think so. What I think tho that would help, is taking responsibility for our actions. Ownership of our decisions. Admitting that we were wrong will help not only us but also those who were involved or hurt by our mistake.
Forgiveness is something so powerful. We really need it in our lives. I don't think we fully realise the importance of it. Admitting our wrong instead of pointing fingers could literally change our lives. Forgiving ourselves for messing up will help our hearts heal.
How do you understand faith?
Imagine 12 disciples. Walking with Jesus for 3 years. Seeing Him in every possible situation, confrontation and pastoral care of people around Him. Would you believe in Him then? We could say that yeah sure, being around Him 24/7 would definitely make our faith stronger. We would never doubt Him.
If so then... Why did only Peter step out of the boat?
In Matthew 14 it says that disciples were trying to get to the other side of the lake when a terrible storm came on them. So bad they thought they would die. Suddenly they recognised a posture of a man walking through the waves. They thought it was a ghost. They didn't recognise the Messiah whom they spent with the last three years of their lives. All of them except for Peter. He knew the heart of Jesus and he also knew that anything was possible if he only believed. So he asked Jesus to call him to come on water to Him. He did. And so Peter stepped out of the boat. Now try to imagine this. A small boat in the midst of a storm, you can hardly see anything, you're soaked through, wet and petrified. Putting this into today's life: you have a whole pile of issues to deal with. So many that you don't even know where to start to solve any of them. You can't sleep, you can't eat, troubles seem to overtake your mind and body. Your heart is broken because of all the pain people close to you caused you. And then you feel that Jesus wants to call you to Him. You're not sure whether its actually Him, it feels so ridiculous that He would want to help you even tho your faith withers, you messed up so many times and you can't remember when was the last time you were talking to Him.
Peter stepped out of the boat. As soon as he touched the water and felt it hold him firmly, he took the opportunity to take his eyes off of Jesus. He saw all the waves about to crash onto him and... He panicked. He forgot that Jesus himself stood right before him. He forgot that at Jesus' command the water under His feet was hard like ground. He fell. He began to drown. He called for help and Jesus reached out to him. He saved his life, again.
'You of little faith'. He, Jesus, calmed the storm within a second. On a command. Because He believed God was greater than the waves.
Peter was so close to Him. Peter knew His heart personally. Peter knew His presence. Peter saw Him perform miracles.
Yet Peter doubted.
Yet 11 disciples didn't even dare coming to the edge of that boat. They were overwhelmed by the waves. Those waves seemed bigger than Gods power.
Would you come to the edge of the boat? Would you call unto Jesus?
How do you react when troubles come? Do you tremble in your boat not hearing Jesus' voice asking you to step out and believe?
How much do you trust Him, really?
Because you know, it's up to you.
There may be a whole list of problems and you could still be joyful. There may be one problem and you could be panicking.
What do you focus on?
Your priorities will distinct the direction in which your life will go. Literally. If your priority is to trust Jesus no matter what, not get overwhelmed by the problems but go with your life focused on His face, you will be stronger than ever before. You will gain wisdom from reading His word, you will become a strong person capable of being selfless.
Or... You could just live a life of complaints, not counting your blessings, merely trusting Jesus, and only when things get a little better. Depending on the weather. Sunny day, lets praise Him. Storm, lets blame Him.
It's up to you. But choose carefully, because God can calm any storm. Any. Try Him and you will see that where your power ends, His only begins. Reach out and learn to walk on water.
This note is written especially for people who feel like they are in the middle of a life storm at the moment.
It's hard to admit and believe but most of the problems we bring on ourselves. They are the result of our decisions. Regardless tho, living in consequences of those is still hard. And knowing why we have them doesn't really make dealing with them any easier. So here, does blaming the world, friends, family or God help?
I don't think so. What I think tho that would help, is taking responsibility for our actions. Ownership of our decisions. Admitting that we were wrong will help not only us but also those who were involved or hurt by our mistake.
Forgiveness is something so powerful. We really need it in our lives. I don't think we fully realise the importance of it. Admitting our wrong instead of pointing fingers could literally change our lives. Forgiving ourselves for messing up will help our hearts heal.
How do you understand faith?
Imagine 12 disciples. Walking with Jesus for 3 years. Seeing Him in every possible situation, confrontation and pastoral care of people around Him. Would you believe in Him then? We could say that yeah sure, being around Him 24/7 would definitely make our faith stronger. We would never doubt Him.
If so then... Why did only Peter step out of the boat?
In Matthew 14 it says that disciples were trying to get to the other side of the lake when a terrible storm came on them. So bad they thought they would die. Suddenly they recognised a posture of a man walking through the waves. They thought it was a ghost. They didn't recognise the Messiah whom they spent with the last three years of their lives. All of them except for Peter. He knew the heart of Jesus and he also knew that anything was possible if he only believed. So he asked Jesus to call him to come on water to Him. He did. And so Peter stepped out of the boat. Now try to imagine this. A small boat in the midst of a storm, you can hardly see anything, you're soaked through, wet and petrified. Putting this into today's life: you have a whole pile of issues to deal with. So many that you don't even know where to start to solve any of them. You can't sleep, you can't eat, troubles seem to overtake your mind and body. Your heart is broken because of all the pain people close to you caused you. And then you feel that Jesus wants to call you to Him. You're not sure whether its actually Him, it feels so ridiculous that He would want to help you even tho your faith withers, you messed up so many times and you can't remember when was the last time you were talking to Him.
Peter stepped out of the boat. As soon as he touched the water and felt it hold him firmly, he took the opportunity to take his eyes off of Jesus. He saw all the waves about to crash onto him and... He panicked. He forgot that Jesus himself stood right before him. He forgot that at Jesus' command the water under His feet was hard like ground. He fell. He began to drown. He called for help and Jesus reached out to him. He saved his life, again.
'You of little faith'. He, Jesus, calmed the storm within a second. On a command. Because He believed God was greater than the waves.
Peter was so close to Him. Peter knew His heart personally. Peter knew His presence. Peter saw Him perform miracles.
Yet Peter doubted.
Yet 11 disciples didn't even dare coming to the edge of that boat. They were overwhelmed by the waves. Those waves seemed bigger than Gods power.
Would you come to the edge of the boat? Would you call unto Jesus?
How do you react when troubles come? Do you tremble in your boat not hearing Jesus' voice asking you to step out and believe?
How much do you trust Him, really?
Because you know, it's up to you.
There may be a whole list of problems and you could still be joyful. There may be one problem and you could be panicking.
What do you focus on?
Your priorities will distinct the direction in which your life will go. Literally. If your priority is to trust Jesus no matter what, not get overwhelmed by the problems but go with your life focused on His face, you will be stronger than ever before. You will gain wisdom from reading His word, you will become a strong person capable of being selfless.
Or... You could just live a life of complaints, not counting your blessings, merely trusting Jesus, and only when things get a little better. Depending on the weather. Sunny day, lets praise Him. Storm, lets blame Him.
It's up to you. But choose carefully, because God can calm any storm. Any. Try Him and you will see that where your power ends, His only begins. Reach out and learn to walk on water.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
choices
Difference between wisdom and fullishness?
We all have freedom to do what we want to do.
We may be under the leadership of our parents or whoever else who takes care of us, but essentially they can't really make us do things. It's up to us whether we listen to them or not. So as adults, we do whatever we want. Our bodies crave things, our eyes see what the world thinks is right to do, our ears hear about 'awesome' experiences of others. We listen to influential songs of our century, we read magazines, see size 0 models, have different trend to follow each season, have friends who if not chosen carefully, will have a bad influence on us.
Concluding on this, we live under terrible pressure. We face it every single day of our lives. Can't escape it unless our mindset is opposite to the one speaking to us. What do I mean by this?
I mean that we still have a choice. Whatever people tell us, whatever pressure or expectation we feel that has been put on our shoulders, it is still entirely up to us on whether we will stand up to those expectations, or to our convictions. For example, if I am convicted that I don't have to be size 0, will I starve myself just because the magazines suggest that this is the most attractive size for me to be? I know it's a load of rubbish, don't I? So why follow it?
If every time going into town you feel deep down that getting drunk to the point when you can't remember how on earth you got home is wrong, why drink? Because your friends expect you too? Because its more fun that way? What kind of fun are you talking about? The fun where you can get robbed, hurt, raped or killed?
I could give many examples on how we can stand against what we know is good or bad, but y'all know what I'm talking about.
So let's move on to something way more serious.
CONSEQUENCES.
You may feel good quenching your first for fun. You may be satisfying your body by sleeping around or allowing anyone you're in a relationship with to have your body before they seriously commit to you.
It may feel good to gossip, to be selfish, arrogant or aggressive.
It may feel better to hurt others instead of you getting hurt again.
It may bring you a short lived satisfaction when you take revenge, hold grudge or not forgive.
It may be easier to divorce your spouse rather than work through issues (yes there are exceptions, I'm talking here about people who don't have the excuses of abuse or cheat).
It may be easier to lie than to tell the truth.
It may be easier to accommodate to the expectations of the world than to stand up for your values and convictions.
It may be easier.
But since when does easy means better?
One thing you need to clearly understand before you move on from reading this note.
There will be consequences for the choices you make.
You sow into your life and you will reap the fruit of it. Things that satisfy for a moment are rarely good for you, unless it's food.
Writing this I am not trying to judge you, but rather make you fully aware of the fact that you can change your life before its too late.
Some of the choices you have made or you will make in the near future will chase you for the rest of your life if you don't deal with them properly.
There is no shame in taking responsibility for your life.
Are you imprisoned by trying to be like others? Who do you want to impress?
Who have you not forgiven?
Of what have you not let go?
What pain keeps you awake at night?
What do you miss, really?
I know this is a lot.
But you really need to think through your priorities. I'm writing this to myself as well, don't worry. It's the reason why I got an idea for this note in the first place.
Your life is precious. Don't waste it.
Don't kill your health. Don't make choices and don't walk the paths you will regret picking.
There's more to life than all the rubbish the world is trying to feed us.
All those things are worthless.
Absolutely worthless.
Do yourself a favour and make a decision to do less of something, give something up, let go of something from the past or forgive someone.
Let this be your first step to freedom.
Why not go to church? Give it a go. It may surprise you how much good you could get out of it :)
If you'd like to talk to me, please don't hesitate to message me.
We all have freedom to do what we want to do.
We may be under the leadership of our parents or whoever else who takes care of us, but essentially they can't really make us do things. It's up to us whether we listen to them or not. So as adults, we do whatever we want. Our bodies crave things, our eyes see what the world thinks is right to do, our ears hear about 'awesome' experiences of others. We listen to influential songs of our century, we read magazines, see size 0 models, have different trend to follow each season, have friends who if not chosen carefully, will have a bad influence on us.
Concluding on this, we live under terrible pressure. We face it every single day of our lives. Can't escape it unless our mindset is opposite to the one speaking to us. What do I mean by this?
I mean that we still have a choice. Whatever people tell us, whatever pressure or expectation we feel that has been put on our shoulders, it is still entirely up to us on whether we will stand up to those expectations, or to our convictions. For example, if I am convicted that I don't have to be size 0, will I starve myself just because the magazines suggest that this is the most attractive size for me to be? I know it's a load of rubbish, don't I? So why follow it?
If every time going into town you feel deep down that getting drunk to the point when you can't remember how on earth you got home is wrong, why drink? Because your friends expect you too? Because its more fun that way? What kind of fun are you talking about? The fun where you can get robbed, hurt, raped or killed?
I could give many examples on how we can stand against what we know is good or bad, but y'all know what I'm talking about.
So let's move on to something way more serious.
CONSEQUENCES.
You may feel good quenching your first for fun. You may be satisfying your body by sleeping around or allowing anyone you're in a relationship with to have your body before they seriously commit to you.
It may feel good to gossip, to be selfish, arrogant or aggressive.
It may feel better to hurt others instead of you getting hurt again.
It may bring you a short lived satisfaction when you take revenge, hold grudge or not forgive.
It may be easier to divorce your spouse rather than work through issues (yes there are exceptions, I'm talking here about people who don't have the excuses of abuse or cheat).
It may be easier to lie than to tell the truth.
It may be easier to accommodate to the expectations of the world than to stand up for your values and convictions.
It may be easier.
But since when does easy means better?
One thing you need to clearly understand before you move on from reading this note.
There will be consequences for the choices you make.
You sow into your life and you will reap the fruit of it. Things that satisfy for a moment are rarely good for you, unless it's food.
Writing this I am not trying to judge you, but rather make you fully aware of the fact that you can change your life before its too late.
Some of the choices you have made or you will make in the near future will chase you for the rest of your life if you don't deal with them properly.
There is no shame in taking responsibility for your life.
Are you imprisoned by trying to be like others? Who do you want to impress?
Who have you not forgiven?
Of what have you not let go?
What pain keeps you awake at night?
What do you miss, really?
I know this is a lot.
But you really need to think through your priorities. I'm writing this to myself as well, don't worry. It's the reason why I got an idea for this note in the first place.
Your life is precious. Don't waste it.
Don't kill your health. Don't make choices and don't walk the paths you will regret picking.
There's more to life than all the rubbish the world is trying to feed us.
All those things are worthless.
Absolutely worthless.
Do yourself a favour and make a decision to do less of something, give something up, let go of something from the past or forgive someone.
Let this be your first step to freedom.
Why not go to church? Give it a go. It may surprise you how much good you could get out of it :)
If you'd like to talk to me, please don't hesitate to message me.
Friday, March 22, 2013
face your heart
'You see, we always have a choice. Even when things seem completely ruined, even when they are ruined, we still have a choice. To lie under those ruins, or make a castle out of them.'
This note is about the simplicity of our hearts and the way we can, and will get through difficulties.
So, ruins. When things fall apart, when our heart breaks, when troubles keep us awake.
When your heart is in so much pain, that life and smile and joy sound ridiculous and out of reach.
My friend, I want to tell you that I have been in that exact place for a long while 5 years ago.
Why write this message now?
Well, because now I grew up to do so.
Not because from then on my life was trouble free, but because I have gone through so many more and often, more difficult issues, that I have learned to deal with them, get over them in a slow, healthy way and guard my heart while moving on.
Some people say that you just gotta get over things, quickly, drastically, bury all the hurt in order to move on.
I disagree.
You have to DEAL with hurt before you can either invest into someone else's life, or allow them to invest into yours. Burying hurt will take process in touching to the core of your heart, and in result you will become unforgiving, bitter and simply, destroyed. Even as a Christian, if you are one, you can get to this point.
This note applies to all of us. I am not writing about one particular kind of hurt.
Let me put some logic in here.
Let's say someone hurts you really bad by lying to you. You have 3 exits:
1. Not forgive the person and never really move on
2. Forgive the person but not forgive yourself that you've 'allowed this to happen', which will soon produce bitterness, distrust and not being able to start over with a light heart
3. Forgive the person, forgive yourself, close the doors behind you, move on, have hope for the future, which would lead to a soon healed heart, joy, hope and confidence that even tho you will get hurt again in one way or another, your heart will not grow into bitterness.
This is how you build castle out of ruins.
This is how you get over pain.
Call it by name.
Write down all that hurts you. Do not pretend you are okay if you find yourself hurting. Be truth to yourself because you are the only person you're stuck with 24/7. (except for God, but I'm talking someone with you physically).
I will tell you out of experience that 'being tough' is not the way to protect your heart. Being mean to others is hurting you more than them. Being bitter cuts your heart open each time you choose that negative attitude. Speaking words of death kills you.
We people are petrified of waiting, of time. Even tho we have NO control over it, we stress, we rush, we run.
We are afraid that if we stop for a moment, if we'd give ourselves time to properly recover from hurts, we're gonna miss on new opportunities.
Hear me now: whatever opportunities you see while you should be recovering, that you take on, will destroy you even more, even if they are good.
If you break your leg, you can't put a super glue on it and carry on walking.
Same with your heart.
Stop rushing.
Stop fearing that you will never be able to trust again because you WON'T, if you choose to force your heart into another opportunity to crush it into more pieces.
What meal tastes better? The one from a fast food, or the one slow cooked at home?
Think about this.
The root of your heart is the source of your life.
Everything comes from it.
What will your life consist of if right now all you fill it with is the trash of avoided pain?
You could say it's because dealing with it would hurt all over again, but I tell you now and you better believe me, it will hurt way more 20 years from now when you will finally blow up from the amount of hurt that your heart consists of, with your whole life in ruins, you finding yourself depressed.
'You see, we always have a choice. Even when things seem completely ruined, even when they are ruined, we still have a choice. To lie under those ruins, or make a castle out of them.'
My conclusion is this: you can either use your hurts to harden your heart so you would finally never be able to be free, or you can use those hurts to learn your lesson, forgive the people who caused you pain, and grow into happiness of a healthy protected heart that won't allow itself to be under destructible influences.
Please, take your time. Respect your heart, because you are the person who should care about it.
This means that you owe yourself to close some doors, leave some people who are only busy with hurting you, FORGIVE them AND yourself.
Read Proverbs.
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline; don't sulk under his loving correction. It's the child he loves that God corrects; a father's delight is behind all this. (Proverbs 3:5-12 MSG)
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